Author Archives: Alyson Schafer
An Unconventional New Year’s System
Alyson Schafer in Been Around the Blog, For the love of parenting, Get Inspired: Making a Difference, Inspiration - 8 comments - posted on Feb 11th, 2013An Unconventional Approach to New Year’s Resolutions I don’t like making resolutions on New Year’s Eve. As a psychotherapist, I am in the business of personal change. Believe me when I tell you, that promises made over champagne flutes at midnight rarely amount to any real sustainable change. So how do I manage my resolutions as a professional “in the know”? Here are some tips for how I approach my own personal family goals. Hopefully these ideas can help make real family transformations for you this year too: 1. Change the Date. I celebrate Martin Luther King Jr Day instead … Continue reading
How To Talk To Your Children About The Newtown Conn. School Shootings
Alyson Schafer in For the love of parenting, Just Between Us - 2 comments - posted on Dec 17th, 2012We were all shocked by the mass shooting of innocent children and teachers in Newtown, Connecticut. While the police investigate the events and motives that led to this horrific crime, we parents are left to not only deal with our own emotions, but also to help our children make sense of this tragedy, too. Here is some of what I have been sharing with parents through the various media outlets… What kids really need to know: Parents need to decide how much their children should know about this event. That decision should be made based on the child’s age, the … Continue reading
Best Practices for Great Parent – Teacher Meetings!
Alyson Schafer in For the love of parenting, Just Between Us - 0 comments - posted on Sep 24th, 2012Many parents feel uncomfortable when talking to teachers. Hey, guess what? Many teachers also feel nervous talking to you too! Here are some ways to help improve parent – teacher meetings so everyone is more comfortable! 1. Start the Year Right Take the initiative and make an appointment for a little “meet and greet” with your child’s new teacher at the start of the year. This short, five minute meeting sets the tone and helps build a good relationship. Your child will know you care about their life at school, and teachers will know you are an engaged and supportive … Continue reading
Why Parents Shouldn’t Force Kids to Say “I’m Sorry”
Alyson Schafer in Just Between Us - 0 comments - posted on Apr 24th, 2012Parents find it shocking when I give the advice “don’t force your child to say “I’m sorry” after an incident. They think I am letting kids off the hook. Not true! Let me take a moment to clarify my reasons. First, to be clear, I want your children to have good manners and develop a true sense of empathy and compassion for others. Yes, I want them to take responsibility for their actions and to make amends when someone has been wronged. All of those pursuits are important. I am only suggesting a different means and method to arrive at … Continue reading
Top 3 Questions Answered by The Social Family Panelists at Social Media Week
Alyson Schafer in Just Between Us - 1 comment - posted on Apr 12th, 2012This past week, I had the great fun of participating in Social Media Week by sitting on a panel called “ The Social Family” to discuss how social media is impacting our families. The panel moderator, Rebecca Brown of Bunch Family did a great job of shaping a robust conversation with the audience, myself and the other panelists; Brad Moon (aka wiredgeekdad) and Royal Lee (aka education ninja). Here are the top 3 points that I think every parent would have appreciated hearing: 1. “Mom Mom Mom Mom – When can I get on Facebook? Many parents hate and fear … Continue reading
Street-Proofing Our Kids: Rules to Protect Your Child from Possible Abduction
Alyson Schafer in Just Between Us - 2 comments - posted on Mar 14th, 2012When a missing child makes the news, every parent has the same thought flash through their mind: what if that was my child? Unbearable thoughts. This is a good reminder that we should all talk to our children about street safety rules. First, some facts for parents. Most all missing children in Canada are taken by a non-custodial parent who could not gain access through the court system. Random abductions are very rare indeed. Canada is a very safe and friendly country. Sadly, most harm that befalls children in our society is inflicted by their family and caregivers, not strangers. Still, we need to … Continue reading
Valentine’s Day and Parenthood – Let Kids See The Love!
Alyson Schafer in Just Between Us - 1 comment - posted on Feb 15th, 2012Remember Valentine’s Day back in the days before Diaper Genies and sippy cups. Back when you could afford to go out to dinner and you didn’t have to arrange a sitter? The coupleship has to adapt to the inevitable changes that come as we move from being romantic partners to having children and being a family. But does pragmatic parenthood mean an end to romantic frivolity? Amore survives parenthood a lot better in other cultures. Here in North American, we subdue the needs of the couple and put our exalted children first. Well, let me appeal to you then through … Continue reading
Holiday Dinner Table Manners
Alyson Schafer in Just Between Us - 0 comments - posted on Dec 14th, 2011Eat… sit… and be merry. Yes, it’s that time of year when we gather around the table and enjoy holiday dinner with our extended family. Joy right? Ahh, not so much, especially if you are stressed about your uncouth seven year-old son’s behaviour. Will he break bread or break wind, or worse, toss bread? Or pout about hating his gravy touching his peas. Shouting “Where are your manners?” is just as much a part of the festive meal as the cranberry sauce. We forget our children have substandard table manners until they’re under scrutiny of company and extended family. Suddenly … Continue reading