Every parent has their own ideas of what’s right and wrong when it comes to parenting. As a new Mom, I’ve learned this VERY quickly. People are quick to judge when it comes to the way other people raise their children. Another thing I’ve learned is that every child is different and sometimes it takes different methods to teach them right from wrong. This is a very controversial photo of a Father having his daughter stand out in public holding a sign that says “I lied to my Dad” What are YOUR thoughts on this? Would you do it? Or would you do it in a different manner? If you wouldn’t do it, what would you do to teach this child that being a liar is wrong? Keep in mind that none of us know the situation which lead up to this event… this could be his last stitch effort to teach his child.
10 Responses to Parenting: Lied & Punished
Hmmm…not sure what I’d do. I’d most likely try to resolve the situation in the privacy of our own home. Like you said, who knows what the story is behind this photo? I don’t think I’d make my daughter hold a sign in public though. That’s just me.
Wow that is a hard one.. Not sure I ever feel public humiliation is a good idea but you are right we have no idea what lead this Dad to this solution. I find it is so important to teach kids from a very young age the importance of honesty – little kids little lies. Bigger kids and the lies become a much bigger issue. My kids are still at the age where they feel the need to tell us every single thing! I will enjoy it while it lasts.
For me it’s not hard at all. I would NEVER use humiliation as a discipline strategy, EVER. Nothing to be gained by it, and so much to be lost. End stop.
Well since we do not know what other attempts this family has made to hamper the lies I do not feel that it is right to judge. Every child learns things differently and this may be the way she needed to learn. The father is also standingout so he is still supporting her through this and not leaving her to deal with it on her own.
Whatever works for them. I skipped school and was caught, my mom always said if we ever skipped she would dress up in her sloppy/stained clothes and walk us to school for a week in front of friends. So I got grounded for a month and she walked me to school everyday. Humiliating? yes Did I learn my lesson more then the grounding? Yes. Am I scared by it? nooooo
Notice he is standing outside with her. I would say that is just as bad for him. There are other things to consider here, how long did he have her stand there? Also do you think she is gonna remember this next time she lies to anyone, I think she just might. I don’t know the entire story nor do I know this child, so I really cant judge them.
I like what Barbara Colorosso said about discipline:
“It shows children/youth what they should have done.
It gives them as much ownership of the problem as they are able to handle.
It gives them options for solving the problem.
It leaves their dignity intact.”
for me, the above pic doesn’t necessarily do all of this. Its seems like more of a humiliation tactic/punishment versus discipline that is going to actually teach a lesson
My Father-in-law told my husband when he was younger that the sign spinners you see on the side of the road advertising for business were actually shoplifters and that was their punishment for all to see. My husband never shoplifted, partly out of fear of being humiliated. I am guessing that this isn’t the first time this father has been lied to. Some kids, especially teens just don’t care what you take away from them. I know because I was one of them. I’m sure if my parents did this to me I’d straighten out real fast. But I also think it could lead to other issues, like deep resentment of your parents, and even being bullied at school if peers saw you doing this. That being said, I would not do this to my kids. There are many other ways to discipline that don’t involve humiliating them in front of the community.
I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. The stance that the father has over his daughter, or the fact that the sign he made has TERRIBLE grammar! Can we have the dad hold a sign that says “I judge others before myself?”
I feel like the embarrassment of this will either keep her from ever doing it again or will make her a better liar.
I stole a piece of candy from a bin in a store when I was maybe 6 years old. My mom made me march back into the store, pay for the candy and apologize to the Manager.
I never stole anything after that.