I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy in February of 2011. It was a home birth. Such a beautiful and happy moment. I loved (and love) him more than he will ever know. The one person I failed to love after his birth was myself. I had a very rocky pregnancy with Cameron and prior to my pregnancy with Cameron, I lost another baby at 12 weeks. I’m very blessed in every essence of the word. There was just always that unhappy part of me. I carried some of the weight of the miscarriage on myself and continued to do so after Cameron’s birth. I also hated the way I looked. I felt trapped. I cried a lot. I dreaded looking the mirror. I battled a postpartum anxiety disorder. I didn’t tell many people about it… No one could understand when I did. They’d just look at me like I had two=heads.
Anyway… In December of 2011, I made a pact with myself. 2012 would be the year of change. The year that I would focus on myself. Go after what I want and pursue my dreams. The moment the new year rang in…. I didn’t hold myself back. I made my goals very clear. Blogging can be a good way to put it out there. The world can witness it and be such a great support. That it was.
My main goal was to get fit, be happy and lead a healthy and active lifestyle. It took a lot of perseverance and determination. With the right support, I was able to push through. I had a gym membership. I cancelled it. I simply found that I wasn’t feeling tied down enough to be committed to it. If I had, had a workout buddy things may have been different. Rather I found my comfort zone working out at home. I purchased a handful of DVDs. I’m a worshiper to Jillian Michaels (or some might think so). I dedicated 5 to 6 days a week to workout. I always tried to juggle up the type of workout I’d do… whether it be resistance training, CrossFit, high-intensity cardio or Zumba. Shaking up the workouts prevented boredom. Boredom was the last avenue I needed to venture down.
It’s now been 6 months since I started my journey. In those 6 months, the one thing I never expected to do was lose weight. Boy was I shocked each week when I stepped on the scale for a weigh-in. It would slowly drop… 7lbs, 10lbs, 15lbs…. and now 6 months later… I’m down 40lbs and in the best shape I’ve ever been in! I feel amazing and I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I look in the mirror and I love the girl staring back at me.
If you’re in the middle of a fitness journey… I totally get how you’re feeling. I know it isn’t easy. Just remember you can do this! There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about just throwing it all in. That’s when I remember how hard I’ve worked and why I’m doing this. For me. There is only one you. Be the best you that you can be and with perseverance you can achieve anything!