My 5-year-old son recently had a little friend over. They found one of the sisters’ cootie catchers (yes, I provided a picture so you know what I’m talking about) and were having some fun with it. Eventually the friend picked “number 7” and my son opened it up and read the comment. It said “You will marry Justin Bieber”. Friend innocently replies “I can’t marry him because I’m a boy and he’s a boy”, to which my son responds “Of course boys can get married”. I’m sitting at my laptop listening to them bicker about whether boys can marry each other, and then it happens – I get pulled in.
My son yells out “Hey mom, boys can get married to boys, right?”
I looked at our little friend and wondered for a moment: How much information are you “allowed” to share with other people’s kids?
I decided to answer him just as I’d answer one of my own kid’s questions – factually, but in easy to understand terms.
I gave the heads up to my mom friend about the conversation. It’s worth sharing the information because it gives the parents the opportunity to open up more discussion on the topic – “I heard that you were talking about marriage today?” would make for some great dinner time conversation!
What would you have done? Ever find yourself talking to the neighbourhood kids about sex, religion, politics or other topics that may have caught you off guard?
5 Responses to What’s a Mama to Say?
I haven’t had to experience this yet, but I’m sure it’s coming. My 3 year old is beginning to take curiosity in where babies come from. Obviously not a stork, as much as we might like to make them believe it.
I would have answered the child, just as you have. Of course, the parent would have been informed as well.
I look forward to having conversations like this with my children. Their minds are so vivid.
Plan and simple, I would say “people can marry whoever they love!”
I think you can answer vaguely that it is possible and then let the other parent know. As far as educating your own child, you could go into more detail after the friend leaves.
I think it sounds like you did the right thing
My 3 year old hasn’t asked yet. I have friends who are gay and who are lesbian, and I totally think you handled the situation well
We generally answer what we can in front of our daughter’s friends, but go into detail with her when the friends are gone.
Re: Boys marrying boys – Little One hasn’t noticed or asked questions yet. She just thinks that normal, like men and womren getting married. They’re just people like her. They love. They laugh. They breathe. They play. She’s been surrounded by people of all religions, cultures, etc…so this is just another part of her life. She knows nothing different and accepts and loves our friends the way they are.
I personally have taught both my children (3 and 5) that people can marry whoever they love. I believe in setting children up for the ‘real’ world so that they are not lost when they do enter it. I am with Christine on this one, because our social circle is so diverse, I don’t think my children really realize any different. As far as other children go though, I think you did the right thing. Parents shouldn’t be educating other peoples children….although sometimes I really wish they did
Great post!