“You have one of each. A million dollar family. Your family is complete.”
“You’ve worked so hard and lost so much weight. I guess you’re not planning to have anymore children, eh?!? How could you want to ruin what you’ve worked so hard for?!?”
“Cadence was such an easy baby in comparison to Cameron. I bet that’s swung your mind from having another. Wouldn’t want to go through that again, huh?!?”
“So-and-so was asking me the other day when you’re planning to have your next. I responded ‘never’… ‘there’s no way I’d babysit then’…”
Ok… Enough already! Enough!
Seriously if one more person asks me or comments on when or if I may have another baby… I think I may just go bat shit crazy on their ass. The incessant comments are finally eating at me. I was able to drown them out for quite some time, but now it’s just getting down right annoying.
It’s almost like I can’t escape them.
You first get hounded after marriage and I never once thought I’d get hounded after having children… Wrong! I get pestered more now in comparison to back then.
People just need to mind their own damn business. What my husband and I chose to do within our relationship and in the bedroom is our own personal business. If we choose to try for another baby, it’s our decision. No one else can try to sway that on us. Seriously… what does it have to do with anyone else? Absolutely nothing!
I’ll be completely honest and say that there was a point in our relationship where we wanted a large family. One with 3 or 4 children. Lately though… my mind has been wavering and I’m just not sure what I want anymore. My husband is all for another baby… I think he’s more excited for the rampant, steamy sessions that come with making said baby. Can you blame him?!
Any who… I digress…
The constant nattering and blabbering in my ear like a broken record doesn’t help my flip flopping mind. It really just doesn’t help, nor does it matter.
Can you relate? Do you have family members and friends in your life who’ve driven you crazy with pregnancy banter?
12 Responses to The Annoying Big “Q” & Banter: “Are You Pregnant?”
Every family function is the same for me. I can’t even say “guess what”. Without hearing a reply of “your pregnant?” Following. I had 2 in 19 months. I’m good for now!!
My mother in law still says we should have more and my kids are 9 and 6!!!!!
Oh I hear ya, my mother in law keeps on asking when I’ll have another one because my kids are going on seven and five. It drives me crazy and every time she says something it makes me want to pull my hair out.
I have a husband who wouldn’t stop about reversing his operation. I have a mother who chides us still today that Toby had his operation done too early in his life. So yes, I’ve experienced it.
After my 2nd child, I knew I was done. I would never look back on that decision.
I get very sad answering these questions. When I was desperately trying for my second, I was so sad (having difficulty with secondary infertility) and when someone would ask me, I would sometimes be close to tears! Now, not being happy with the fact that we are done at two – when someone asks if we are done, sometimes I avoid answering! It is a sensitive topic with me (and many!). Great post.
Yes, the questions begin as soon as you seem to start getting serious with someone and they never seem to end. Right now I get, “are you going to try for a girl?” as we have two boys. I wish we could try for another but DH says we are done.
Well said! I wish the people who DON’T mind their own business would read this. I was just talking about something like this yesterday with another mom. She was getting comments about her weight from some moms and we were wondering if maybe it was a cultural thing as she had noticed that the particular culture in question is often nosy. I told her my culture (Canadian/American) can be just as nosy sometimes whereas in her culture (Persian) no one would ever say something like that.
Yep, I can relate. We have a honeymoon baby, so we didn’t have anyone pestering us after we got married about when we’d have a baby – they found out right away!
When she was about a year old, though, people would make comments about “time for a sibling!” Strangers, like the teller at the bank. That really annoyed me. Now that we have two, NOBODY makes comments like that. Most assume we’re done. A friend of mine said that after they had their third, lots of people asked them, “So are you done now?” Like you, she found it insulting. What we decide about how many kids we have is our own business. 
I would like to think that those who ask really believe that they are the only ones who are asking. They don’t realize how many people ask. That being said, I have 4 and people still ask DH and me if we are done. Really, how much of the population do I have to provide on my own.
I have a girl and a boy and after giving birth to my baby boy, I heard a lot of, “one of each, you have the perfect family!”, or even better, “well you shouldn’t have any more now you have one of each”. For one thing, never say that to a hormonal woman, took all my effort not to snap at that, and excuse me Nosy Nelly but my family would be perfect regardless of how many children I had or what their sex(es) are!
I can’t claim innocence though, before having children and realizing how annoying certain comments were, I’ve asked the questions like, are you planning on having any more or the worst one, was this planned (I know, I know). I refrain from those now knowing just how annoying and rude those comments can be. Guess that’s why it annoys me that when it was other MOTHERS who asked me those same questions with my second.
Yes! My MIL has absolute baby fever
She does watch the girls quite a bit now though, DH wants another, I want another — we should probably just go for it eh?
I’ve let everyone know I’m done at two… hubby wouldn’t mind going for #3, but he knows I’m home with them and do the day-to-day “heavy lifting” in the parenting department. So, when I say I’m done, he goes with it!