Fifteen years ago Today I became a Mother…
And since then…I haven’t figured out a DAMN thing.
Fifteen years and four kids later I still wake up every morning worried that someone is going to figure out…that I have NO FREAKIN IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!
For fifteen years I have been waiting to have patience, does it get delivered? Should I look for a tracking number? Because so far….nothing.
I am the queen of frustration…patience is a virtue…have you looked up the word virtue in the dictionary? That bar is way to high!
For fifteen years I have been looking for “All” the answers…man they are hidden well, better than Jimmy Hoffa…I have been looking for these for so long, that I forget what the bloody questions were.
I can’t count how many questions I get asked in a day…”Mom can you…mom can I…Mom where is…???” The only answer that ever comes to mind …is yet another questions…”Who the hell is this mom person you speak of?”
Fifteen years ago today I had BIG PLANS…to feed my kids only all natural, die free, organic food made by unicorns …NO TV…No fast food, junk food or food that’s served up by a Carney.
Reading and writing by two years…
Potty trained by eighteen months and…
Accepted to Harvard by four!
And…. cue the GIANT FAIL on all of these…Again…still waiting for someone to knock on the door and say…”Oh sorry we made a big mistake and and we are here to take your kids back.”
In the past fifteen years there are far too many times to count … I had NO CLUE what I was doing.
However during those 5478 days…there was ALWAYS one thing that I knew I was doing…I was TRYING…
Cheers to being Clueless for the next 15 years…and pleasantly buzzed…
CLUELESS…Collins
2 Ounces Gin
2 Dashes Bitters
2 Ounces Orange Juice
2 Ounces Soda Water
fresh Basil
Muddle Basil and gin together well and add to a shaker filled with ice. Add OJ and bitters and shake well. Strain into a glass filled with ice and top with soda. Garnish with an orange wheel…
10 Responses to 5478 Days of being Clueless….
LUV it! I always found it amazing how they hand you these little things and ACTUALLY let you take them home!? All muddling thru it together! Happy Birthday to your 1st born!
Great post!
As a first-time mom, everything I ever wanted and imagined being a mom, was totally different than how I’m parenting now. I learned I needed to adjust my life and do things according to who my child was and what was best for her and my family. I stopped caring about looking like I was the best mother out there, because according to y thriving 3 year old — I’m a superhero.
Can’t wait to try a Clueless Collin!
You so nailed it on the head Carol…all the plans go out the window…
Like Dianne said…can’t believe they actually let us take them home!!!
Cheers and thanks for reading…
Happy 15th mommyversery!
Oh crud . . . so what you’re saying is that I’m not going to figure this motherhood thing out and become some super-star modern June Cleaver?! I better have a Clueless collins to commiserate now
I love the sauce! This looks yummy!
LOL – thanks for a good evening laugh!
What I love the best about motherhood is how, no matter how clueless we feel, those little things still believe we can do / know everything… with one notable exceptions: we can’t ever understand them!
I’ll have to get some gin in this house and start making your magic potions
So true!!! I was beginning to think I was the only one!
Oh, this was a fun read. And congrats on 4 beautiful children. We are all clueless lol, and seriously patience is a big challenge for me too. xo
This is so true. 4 years of being a Mom has been fulfilling, frustrating, tiresome, rewarding and so stressful. But I love my Little One all to pieces even when she is pushing my buttons.