Fifteen years ago Today I became a Mother…
And since then…I haven’t figured out a DAMN thing.
Fifteen years and four kids later I still wake up every morning worried that someone is going to figure out…that I have NO FREAKIN IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!
For fifteen years I have been waiting to have patience, does it get delivered? Should I look for a tracking number? Because so far….nothing.
I am the queen of frustration…patience is a virtue…have you looked up the word virtue in the dictionary? That bar is way to high!
For fifteen years I have been looking for “All” the answers…man they are hidden well, better than Jimmy Hoffa…I have been looking for these for so long, that I forget what the bloody questions were.
I can’t count how many questions I get asked in a day…”Mom can you…mom can I…Mom where is…???” The only answer that ever comes to mind …is yet another questions…”Who the hell is this mom person you speak of?”
Fifteen years ago today I had BIG PLANS…to feed my kids only all natural, die free, organic food made by unicorns …NO TV…No fast food, junk food or food that’s served up by a Carney.
Reading and writing by two years…
Potty trained by eighteen months and…
Accepted to Harvard by four!
And…. cue the GIANT FAIL on all of these…Again…still waiting for someone to knock on the door and say…”Oh sorry we made a big mistake and and we are here to take your kids back.”
In the past fifteen years there are far too many times to count … I had NO CLUE what I was doing.
However during those 5478 days…there was ALWAYS one thing that I knew I was doing…I was TRYING…
Cheers to being Clueless for the next 15 years…and pleasantly buzzed…
2 Ounces Gin
2 Dashes Bitters
2 Ounces Orange Juice
2 Ounces Soda Water
Muddle Basil and gin together well and add to a shaker filled with ice. Add OJ and bitters and shake well. Strain into a glass filled with ice and top with soda. Garnish with an orange wheel…