Zack Hamilton September 21st, 2007-March 10th, 2011
All parents feel a sense of pride for their children, but we truly believe that the pride we felt for Zack went beyond any parent’s wildest dreams. For a child born with so many “imperfections” according to his genetics, our son was truly perfect in our eyes. Zack lived each day with obstacles that made even the basic functions like eating and walking difficult for him, and yet, he lived his life without knowing he had limitations. He tackled every therapy as merely a stepping stone to accomplish what he was after and when one goal was reached, he found a new one. We admired Zack so much for his perseverance, determination and resilience and saw those traits every day.
His infectious smile and “walnut cheek” will be remembered by everyone who ever met him; including therapists, doctors, nurses, neighbours, friends and family. He amazed everyone around him with all that he accomplished in his short life, including the doctors who were constantly in awe of his willingness to fight over the last weeks of his life. Even in his last days, we were so proud of our son and how he continued to inspire and impress those around him.
His happiest times were watching Elmo, playing drums, jumping on his trampoline, watching sports with Daddy, riding his red car down the sidewalk, eating Froot Loops and walking around the house after his brothers. Zack loved his brothers with his whole heart. He always showed excitement when they walked in the door from school…he knew the fun was about to begin. Ty will always remember watching his favourite t.v. shows in our room when Zack would walk over and push the buttons to change the channel, laughing all the way at the mischief he was causing. Jayden was forever his interpreter, telling us when Zack wanted a snack or his “soosoo”. While Zack had no words, his love for his brothers spoke volumes in the brightness in his eyes, the way he emulated them and the way they in turn cherished him.
For the last week of our son’s life, we were able to care for him as we had since his birth. While hospitalized for pneumonia, his last days consisted of laying in bed with me and having me be the advocate I had always been. When breathing became too hard, he would curl into me for comfort and listen me sing a sweet song in his ear so he wasn’t scared. When it came time to say goodbye, the words flowed as we thanked our incredible son for all that he had given to us and to our family. I told him how he had made me the mother that I had become…that I still have so much work to do to help other families and that I needed his strength to continue to do this work. Holding him in our arms and snuggling for the last time, our son was safe, loved and allowed to give up the fight.
7 Responses to Remembering my son, Zack
Having been in your shoes I know how difficult it is to go on, but you have and in such a meaningful and loving way. I consider myself lucky that my daughter picked you as one of her special friends. I have so much respect and admiration for you Heather. We belong to an exclusive club, you and I, and we are both survivors!
One last piece of advice – you have the right to give in to the sadness when the mood strikes you – allow yourself that indulgence when you need it, in the end it will make you stronger.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. While I know it is never easy to lose a child, It is always a blessing to have got to spend the time with them. We lost my niece 2 years ago to sepsis, and we have always called her our borrowed angel, because that is exactly what she was. An angel sent from heaven to bless us with her sweet face, calm demeanor, and to fill our hearts with more love than we ever thought possible! Every time the sun shines we imagine it is her smile sent to warm our hearts once again! I hope that one day you can find that kind of peace in your heart and know he smiles upon you everyday.
Truly beautiful, Heather. You continue to surprise me with your amazing strength and outlook. Zack was an incredibly lucky little boy to be surrounded by such love and adoration and we are all better people for having had our hearts touched by him.
Thank you everyone. Taking one day at a time.
Heather there are no words. You are incredible! Such beautiful words you share with all of us on your feelings for your son, your journey as a mother and you strength to move forward and find blessings in being his parent. You son was beautiful. My heart breaks for your loss but you’ve taught me something as well. No matter how much we think we can’t. We can! God Bless you and your family. My love and prayers are with you.
Zach is beautiful. I am so sorry that he isn’t with you- but so happy that he was for a while! What a bright light!
My sons birthday and anniversary of his death is in April- so these are a couple of difficult months for our family aswell.
Jane