I heard a story yesterday from a girl I know who is in middle school. She began by telling me about the bullying problem that is rampant in her school. As we all know, bullying is a growing concern for parents every day. One of the kids who is doing the bullying, also clearly has other problems. She tells teachers that she wants to hurt herself, that she cuts herself, among other things.
I mentioned to the student I was speaking with that it was probable that the girl didn’t have much support at home. That her mother was probably not like this girl’s mom and listened to her problems, or even gave a damn about what she was doing. The student then proceeds to tell me that this other girl’s mother ran off to Las Vegas recently with her current boyfriend and got married. And left this middle school girl home by herself to take care of her younger sibling. Oh, and forgot to tell her daughter where she was going.
I hear stories frequently of children being sent to school without coats ( we live in Iowa – it’s cold here!) , without hats, without having been fed for days. Or the parent who lets their children fail in the classroom, doesn’t pay attention to the work the kid brings home, and then wants to blame the school because they aren’t working hard enough to make sure they pass.
I cannot comprehend why we have parents who fail to accept responsibility for their offspring. Who exactly do they think is responsible for their children? The schools? The community? What happens when problems get worse?
Clearly the stories I have shared are the worst cases I’ve heard about. There are parents who seem on the surface to be responsible, yet want to blame their children’s problems on everyone else. That to me is just as offensive as completely ignoring them.
What do you all think? Has society failed the parents and everyone else is to blame? Do you want the village to be responsible for your children, or will you step up and actually be a parent?
3 Responses to How did the village do?
This is a major problem, and i do strongly believe that the worst ones are the ones that seem like good and caring parents on the outside, but behind closed doors ignore their children. I feel that to many people have now developped a sense of entitlement. And its not right. Some of these parents think that they are entitled and deserve a “social life” of their own and their kids do not fit into that.
So who is to blame? I am not sure. Maybe if we worked harder at teaching society selflessness rather than entitlement, thing would be different.
It is so heartbreaking to see any bullying of any kind, anywhere. We as parents have a respondibility to ensure that the needs of our children are met in all ways: not only nutritionally, financially, educationally, but also emotionally, and I think that sometimes there is a lot of emphasis on ensuring proper nutrition is met, good grades are obtained, financial well-being is met, but sometimes aspects of the emotional quotient are overlooked. It is difficult to judge, because we are not in that child’s situation, nor in that parent’s situation, and some situations are more obvious than others. It is definitely the responsibility of every parent to ensure that your child grows up to be a happy, well-rounded and good individual by leading by example, and showing a reciprocating relationship full of love and caring, but we also hope that outsiders, friends, teachers, neighbours, and others would also encourage empathy and kindness towards others, so we can stop bullying, because bully children can grow up to be bully adults. If we want to ensure we have a responsible, kind and caring society as a whole, not only parents, but everyone needs to contribute to do what they can to help. Definitely, the parent is responsible for their child, but that doesn’t limit outsiders from giving a helping hand and showing kindness if needed. If the child is not able to find a good role-model to live and learn by in a parent, hopefully, that child will be able to find the kindness from a friend or teacher who will teach it to them.
I agree, Melanie, there are a LOT of people that feel entitled….and unfortunately, they are passing that on to their own children. These are often the kids that do the most bullying… think they are the social elite….no consequences because of a name, social status, home size…you name it! It’s so frustrating and sad to see this cycle go on and on and on…